Thursday, September 24, 2009

Surviving the storm of bitterness and resentment

I'm going to stray from my blessings blog for one day. I'm not going to rant and rave though about things that bug me. I'm going to write about something that I've really been learning over the last few months and I hope that maybe others can benefit from what I've learned.
I heard a pastor speak about this so I'm going to use a lot of his words and interject some of my own too.

Life isn't fair. People that you are the closest too are often the ones that hurt you the most. I was recently hurt deeply by someone that I called my best friend. I realized today that I've been holding on to bitterness and resentment towards her for nearly 5 months. Having feelings of bitterness and resentment are not herfault. They are my own. Yes, I was mistreated and talked about, but I have chosen to have feelings of bitterness and resentment.

There can be many causes to the bitterness and resentment that we hold towards other people. Some of which are: 1) What people say about us and 2) What people do to us. Job is the PERFECT example!

There are many consequences to harboring bitterness and resentment towards another person. Some of which are: 1) Resentment is UNREASONABLE. Job 5:2 says "resentment kills a fool, and envy slays the simple." 2) Resentment is UNHELPFUL. Job 18:4 says, "YOU tear YOURSELF to pieces in your anger." Nowhere does that verse talk about the other person. I've realized that my resentment has caused issues in my life while this other person has gone on with hers. I am only causing myself harm by harboring resentment and bitterness. And 3) Resentment is UNHEALTHY. Job 21:23-25 says "One man dies in full vigor, completely secure and at ease, his body well nourished, his bones rich with marrow. Another man dies in bitterness of soul, never having enjoyed anything good." WOW! I want to be the first of those two people. The one that lives to a ripe old age and has a happy and fulfilled life. I DO NOT want to be the 2nd of those two people. The one that has hatred and bitterness in their soul that ends up never being able to enjoy the good things in life. You only hurt yourself by being bitter towards another person. Studies have shown that a bitter spirit can create many health, emotional, and mental issue within a person's body.

THE GOOD NEWS IS...there are quite a few cures for bitterness and resentment also!! Some of which are: 1) Reveal your feelings. Talking to a trusted friend or even God is a good way to get your feelings out. 2) Release the offender. You'll never stop hurting until you learn to forgive. Forgiveness isn't saying that what the other person did was okay. The way that I was treated was not okay. However, there is still room for forgiveness. I need to let go of my desire to get justice or to make her person pay. I've come to realize that even though I may think that what I'm doing to get back at her is RIGHT, it isn't if it's causing pain, stress, or anxiety in my life. I need to let go of the strong hold that is in my life of unforgiveness towards her. I need to pray for her! Job's misery ended when he started to pray for his enemy. And 3) Refocus your heart. Changing your focus can do wonders. You can't always resist a feeling, but you can always replace that feeling.

I don't want to retire from life due to my bitterness and resentment. I don't want to miss out. I don't want my entire life consumed by getting back at her. Life is way too precious and way too short to worry about other people that have harmed you in some way. Forgive that person and let go of it! Trust God to help you give it up. Listen to Jesus' words in Luke 6:27-28, "But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you."

Tuesday, September 15, 2009


I've found that a lot of my daily blessings are my friends, my husband, or my family! Today's blessing is a friends...AGAIN!

It seems that I've had a really rough start to this school year. I've found myself often overwhelmed with the amount of classes that I have this year. More classes means more grading. I don't know how many teachers can say that they have friends that volunteer to come over and help with grading. I DO!!! I am so blessed by numerous friends that have helped me grade over the last few years. I had one friend that was supposed to come over tonight and help me grade but she couldn't make it, so I called Diane and she was more than willing to come over and help me! It's so amazing to have people in my life that are willing to shoulder some of my load.

Thank you Diane!!

Friday, September 11, 2009

How did I get so lucky?

Today's blessing is my AMAZING husband...YET AGAIN!!
When I got home from work today he informed me that he had bought me a little present. A few weeks ago my wallet was stolen and in it was a Starbucks gift card with about $50 left on it. So today he went and bought me a whole bunch of $5 Starbucks gift cards and he hid them all over the house for me find. I already have found 5 and he informs me that there are quite a few more to find. He said that every time I find one over the next few weeks that I should think of how much he loves me!

I decided that since he's been working SO HARD and SO MUCH this last week that I'd take him out on a date tonight. So I found a place in Placerville called Brick Oven Pub that has over 25 beers on tap. That equates to PURE BLISS for Layton :) We drove up the hill for a very yummy dinner!

After dinner we decided to read in bed and my AMAZING husband let me put a mud mask on his face. I promised no pictures, but I'm sure we looked cute laying next to each other in bed with mud masks on :)

I truly am blessed that I get to spend the rest of my life with someone that enjoys being with me. I know I lucky I am that I married someone that ENJOYS making me happy and in turn it makes me want to make him happy!

Monday, September 7, 2009

What a fabulous 3 day weekend we had!

We planned a little last minute trip up the coast to our favorite vacation spot, The Sea Ranch. Not many people know about this little hidden gem. If I could pick anywhere that's fairly inexpensive and close I would pick Sea Ranch. There is absolutely nothing to do and that's why we love it!
We took off Friday right after I got off of work and ended up getting to the house we rented at about 9:30. Of course we had to get in the hot tub and enjoy the sound of the crashing waves and the HUGE full moon that night.

Saturday morning we accidentally slept in until 11!! I guess we both needed to catch up on some sleep. Saturday's agenda consisted of drinking coffee on the front patio and reading. Going for a walk along the trails down to the beach where we had a little picnic lunch. We got in the hot tub and then showered before heading into the little town of Gualala to pick up our FAVORITE pizza. We ate pizza while we played Mexican Train and then hopped back in the hot tub before going to bed.

Sunday morning we got up and ate breakfast and read some more, played Mexican Train some more and went on a 5 mile walk on the trails that run along the coast. After our walk we ate lunch and then hopped in the hot tub before showering and heading back into Gualala to hit up one of the few dinner spots. After dinner I finished kicking Layton's butt at Mexican Train and then it was back into the hot tub and more reading before bed.

As you can see, we don't do all that much while vacationing in Sea Ranch. That's the reason why we go. We go to enjoy each other's company, to catch up on sleep and reading and relaxation. I love getting away from life, phones, computers, the Internet, etc and just spending one on one time laughing and dreaming with my husband. I always come back feeling refreshed and ready to go right back. Someday we'll own a house in Sea Ranch.

Last weekend's blessing: Spending one on one time with Layton enjoying each other's company.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

It's been awhile...

and I only have a few minutes. Life has been crazy the last few weeks with school starting, getting my wallet stolen and having to deal with that, LIFE, getting ready to go out of town this weekend, etc. I am enjoying being busy again and having a schedule.
I don't have much to write about today except that I talked to my best friend on the phone today for about an hour. It's probably been over a month since we've talked because she just moved to from Denver to Dallas and she started a new job. Plus I started back up at work today. I was just thinking yesterday that I needed a good 2 hour conversation with her just t
o vent about LIFE and she called me today. Our plan is to talk tomorrow again for about another hour. I just love how talking to her, even though I know she's thousands of miles away, cheers me up...lifts my spirits...helps clear my head...just makes for a better day all-around. I am so blessed to have had such an amazing woman in my life for the last 17 years. We've had our ups and downs, but she is a true friend that I know will always be in my life.