7 weeks...

(7 weeks pregnant)

To my sweet Living Miracle,

Your cousin, Emma, gave you that name and I think it is so fitting. First of all you happened really quickly and you happened after I had surgery only a year ago for some very large fibroid tumors. I think it is also fitting due to what has happened over the last week. Let me give you a little background...

(Here is a picture that she made me. She is quite the ham. She said she was going to call you Zoe, even if you're a boy!)

I went in for my first OB appointment at 5 weeks and 3 days. The doctor did an ultrasound and all we could see was the gestational sac since I wasn't very far long yet. She had me go in for some blood work 48 hours apart to make sure that my HCG levels were rising. A few days later she called me and said that my hormone levels looked great but that she was concerned because she couldn't see you on the ultrasound. She told me that I could be experiencing what was called a blighted ovum, which meant that you hadn't developed past fertilization. Needless to say I was devastated. I had only had the thought of you in my mind for about 2 weeks, but I couldn't imagine losing you. You'll find out sooner or later, but your mommy is a HUGE worrier and over-thinker. The next 2 days were horrible for me until I could get into the hospital where they had better ultrasound equipment. Your daddy and I went in for another ultrasound on February 10, which put me at 6 weeks and 4 days, and guess what?...we saw you and we saw your little tiny heart beating. It was one of the most amazing things that I have ever seen. Now it actually feels real.

(You are that little tiny white blob in the middle of the black sac)

(Getting the ultrasound done)

Today I am 7 weeks pregnant and I have 33 weeks left to go until I get to hold you. I've felt a little queasy here and there but nothing too bad. I can't believe how exhausted I am all of the time. Naps are my new best friend. I'm crazing Taco Bell, but I've only given in to that craving once so far.

Your upper lip and eye lids are forming this week. Your fingers and toes are starting to form. Your brain is developing and circulating spinal fluid. I know you are going to be perfect my sweet Living Miracle.

Love,

Your mommy