My Prayer...

Dear Lord,

Why do you have me here? Why do you have me in a place that I really don't want to be? Why do you have me in a place where I feel so out of place? Why do I feel like everything I do each day doesn't matter? Why do I feel so disrespected? Why do I feel so unappreciated? Why do I feel so helpless? Why do I feel like everything I've done over the last 7 years isn't working anymore? Why do I want to give up when I've never really felt like giving up on anything before. Why do I not even want to try my best?

I know the scripture that you don't give us more than we can handle, but why do You feel like I can handle so much when I feel like I cannot? Why are You stretching me? What are You trying to teach me? Why do You want me here for this season of my life?

I don't really know an answer to ANY of these questions...but...I know that you have called me to do this and I know that you will be faithful to complete what you've started in me.

Please give me patience and strength every single day as I go to work. Please give me joy even though I may not want to be there, and please give me love for those children that disrespect and don't appreciate me.

Amen.

Apple Hill...

Today marked my 2nd annual Apple Hill trip with my best friend. We like to hit up High Hill Ranch. She stayed the night last night at our house and we had our usual Sex and the City marathon. This morning we hit up Starbucks before starting our 2 hour drive. Apple Hill never lets me down. We shared a half a chicken for lunch, which is our tradition. Today's Apple Hill purchases included: apple donuts, an apple fritter, Christmas decorations, candles, apple cider, fudge, peppermint cocoa, and split pea soup. Until next year Apple Hill!

Playing dress up...

I got married 10 years ago and I don't really like my wedding photos because I was such a baby, that instead of looking gorgeous I merely looked cute and digital and artistic photography was unheard of in the wedding photography world. I've been tossing around the idea of getting photos done again in my wedding dress.

2 weeks ago I think I had pretty much the most fun that I've ever had. I got to play dress up again in my wedding dress! My amazingly talented sisters-in-law did my hair and makeup and the amazingly talented Tori Wible http://twiblephotography.com/ took my photos. I felt like a supermodel for 3 hours while we traipsed all around old Auburn and it was nice not having to worry about getting my dress wet or dirty since it's a decade old! I even had a cute little old guy and his friend taking photos of me.

We used old Auburn, the river with the Forest Lake Bridge in the background, a scary abandoned house, and a cool old barn as our backdrop. It was kind of scary wading through the river in my dress and climbing in a bathtub that looked like it had a tube from a crack pipe in it...but as you can see it paid off.

Here are a few sneak peeks. I'll probably put more up once I get the rest.

Ramblings...

"For I am confident of this very thing, that he who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Jesus Christ." Philippians 1:6

I have a lot of thoughts going around in my head, so I'll just spew them all here and hope that they make a little sense. I have been MIA for the last almost 2 months because I started back up at work and to make a long story short...this has been my toughest year of teaching in my entire career. I am so out of my element. I thought moving to a new school would be a piece of cake. I mean I've taught for 7 years. Boy was I wrong. I know nothing about the culture and demographics of the students I'm teaching. I'm so out of place! I wanted to quit, but then a dear friend of mine (Jessica) sent me the above verse in a text message and I've seen the verse a few other times over the last few weeks. I am reminded that God start a work in me 25 years ago. He put a desire in my heart for teaching and He has promised that He will finish the work that He starts in his children. I just wish that this particular thing wasn't so challenging. I've also come to realize that teaching has been kind of easy for me over the past 7 years. I've never had to really rely on God EVERY SINGLE DAY when I walk into my classroom...until this year. I find myself thinking in my head about 500 times a day, "God give me patience. I literally cannot do this on my own. Please give me your authority, wisdom and love."

I'm excited, yet scared, to see what God has in store for me this school year. I know that it has to be something good.

I've also been MIA because I've just been so downright exhausted. I didn't realize how difficult it would be living away from family and friends. It seems like every weekend we've been in Sac or have had family/friends staying with us. There hasn't really been much down time.

Life feels kind of crazy right now and we have a few things on the horizon for 2012 that may make life even crazier! Through all of the craziness God continues to remain good and He continues to put people and things in our lives to remind us that he is molding and shaping us into what He wants us to me.

Thanks for listening to my ramblings. Stay tuned for a few fun posts of fun happenings in my life over the next few weeks!

I'm Thankful For...

My best friend. I am so very glad that God placed her in my life because we are two peas in a pod. Thank you Hannah Mikes for being a shoulder I can cry on and a listening ear anytime that I need you.

I Had Forgotten...

During the summer I always forget what it is like to be a teacher. This summer, I had forgotten...

...what it was like to hear "Mrs. Wedgeworth" 500 times in one day

...how tired I am by the time I lock my classroom door to go home

...what it is like to not only be a teacher - but a peacemaker, a boo-boo kisser, a tear-wiper, a referee, a janitor, a book keeper, a field trip organizer, a lesson planner, a decorator

...how to keep a to-list

...the feeling of being so tired that I don't want to walk or go to yoga but forcing myself to do it anyway

...not wanting to speak to anyone in the evening because I'm so tired of the sound of my own voice

...needing to call on God for patience pretty much every second of every day

...to say TGIF EVERY FRIDAY

...dreading the sound of the alarm clock at 6:00am

...what is was like to live for the weekends and to look forward to the fun weekend plans I have planned weeks in advance

...that I cry because I'm so frustrated

...the tools I need to manage over 100 students every day - their papers, books, desks, lockers, backpacks, schedules

...about getting phone calls and emails from parents

...the immense strength that it takes to parent over 100 children each day

...that I work a full day and still bring home in the evenings 2+ hours of papers to grade

...that I often spend my weekend grading essays and making lesson plans and not getting paid for it

...the joy I get seeing a child's eyes light up when the actually understand something

...the feeling of making a kid laugh

...what it feels like when you know you are imparting knowledge to children

...what it feels like to pray for the difficult ones

...how fun it is to talk to kids every day

If you know or love a teacher, please take the time today to thank them for the tremendous sacrifice that they make every single day. Don't say to them, "I wish I got a summer," because teachers DESERVE their summers more than you can ever know. I am so glad that God called me to be a teacher because even though it is one of the TOUGHEST jobs out there, it is by far one of the most REWARDING jobs there is!

Photos of the day

I have decided that it takes to long to upload my photos to 3 different places. So from now on you can find all of my photos for the day on my Flickr page.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/jwedgeworth/